that shyt was overrated to the nth degree.
time for a change.

I am the dreamer...



An older show. Where there were no friggen retards standing around complaining they didn't like them, or didn't know the w o r d s. It was kids who wanted to be there. Who loved the band to much they couldn't think of anything else they'd rather be doing than singing their lungs out and getting crushed by other kids who were just as appreciative for what they were witnessing as they were. And as they played, and the crowd sang...I got so sad. I just...can't help but think that's never going to happen again. And the fact I will never get another chance to be at a show like that...it's...heart wrenching. Just to know the next time I see them, I'll be in an assigned seat. To know I won't be able theit f a c e s. To know that the chance they'll ever see mine and truly understand what an incredible difference they've made in my life is rapidly winding down to less than slim to none, is going to be the death of me.

When I first saw the video, I really tried to pretend I didn't care and that it didn't phase me. Maybe it was because my mother was in the room. Maybe it's because I was ashamed of even letting myself in on how much it r e a l l y h u r t to see that.

You know, I was talking to Anna and I told her about that part and how it made me sad.
"Why?" she had asked. "Is it because you want them to be a small band again?"
"Yea." I responded, "Well, kinda."
"Hm?"
"It's just that, before, they were so...exclusive, in a way. It felt as if they were my band. Like...I had a chance to get a word in edgewise when they made choices and had at least enough hope to grasp that someday they'd see how my face lights up when their music plays and understand how much I appreciate everything they've ever done, said, written.....to at least feel like I had that chance again would mean the world to me."
"Aw. Vikki. That's cute."
"No. It's not."
"Huh?"
"It's actually obsessive compulsive. But truth be told, I don't give a f u c k."

You know what? I almost think it's time I stop lying to myself. I really do. There's no way, no matter how many times I tell myself I should, or I need to, or 'it's for the b e s t'...there's no way in hell I could ever quit on those boys. Ever. They may not know my name. They may not be able to pick my face out of a crowd. But no matter what happens, I'll always have their back. Even if the hope I'm desperately c l i n g i n g to is a total lie, totally false, utterly fabricated...I'll never abandon them.

I never could.
And now, I can say it with confidence,
I never will.

Xo.




NotIntoLabels402 (9:48:10 PM): gosh
aol is gayer then pete
ixlovexstumps (9:48:21 PM): impossible.







[simone and daniela]
those two girls are my best friends.
mess with them, and i will stab you.
with a spork.
so watch it.






The one. The only. My kill list =]
1. kelly
2. tyler
3. anna
congrats on the coveted top three spots. thats what you get for insulting patrick. nice going tart fayces

4. Mike
everytime i listen to fall out boy, i shit on my dog. STFU. L00Z3R.
5. Dylan
6. Daniela.
that goddamn song. you are so lucky you were only singing it on the phone and i couldnt stab you with something. love, love love love love love... FTW. we get the fucking point. dont you worry. payback will be sweeet. dance dance orly >=]
7. Farhan.
8. Diego.
you both know why. dont deny it.

Watch. Yo. Goddamn. Step.






EVENTSS.

five.six.oh.six.- bamboozle. (one of the most amazing dayz of my life

current favorite CD: Fall Out Boy --> Infinity On High, current favorite song: You're Crashing, But You're No Wave --> Fall Out Boy =]WECLOME., IT'S HERE =], here we go again.., the ABC's of vikki's musical whore-ish-ness., ch-yea., +'s, +44, #'s, 30 Seconds To Mars, 504 Plan, A, The Academy Is..., Acceptance, Adair, AFI, The Afters, After Never, Against Me!, The A.K.A.s, Alexisonfire, The All-American Rejects, All Time Low, Amber Pacific, American Eyes, And Then There Were Machines, Angles and Airwaves, Anna Nalick, Anno Dinomi, Anti-Flag, Architecture In Helsinki, Armor For Sleep, Ashlee Simpson, The Attack, Avenged Sevenfold, B, The Banner, Bedquin Soundclash, Blink-182, Bluchmen/Jasmine Wagner, Bob Dylan, Bowling For Soup, Bright Eyes, The Bronx, C, Caffeine, Captured by Robots, Carrie Underwood, Cascada, The Casulaties, Cee-Lo-Green, Celine Dion, Cheyenne, Chiodos, Christina Aguleria, Cobra Starship, Coffee Shop Soundtrack, Coheed and Cambria, Crash Romeo, Cute Is What We Aim For, D, Daniel Powter, Days Away, Death Cab For Cutie, Dem Franchise Boys, Dirtie Blonde, Drake Bell, E, Early November, Eight Fingers Down, Escape the Fate, Every Time I Die, The Expandables, F, Faith Hill, The Fall of Troy, Fall Out, Fall Out Boy[&hearts, ], Finch, Flogging Molly, Flypaper, Fort Minor, From Autumn To Ashes, From First to Last, Fru-Fru, G, Gogol Bordello, Good Riddance, Green Day, Green Light Go, Gretchen Wilson, Gym Class Heroes, H, Halifax, Hawthorne Heights, Heart, Hellogoodbye, Helmet, HIM, Hit the Lights, The Hush Sound, I, I Am Ghost, J, Jack Johnson, Jack's Mannequin, James Blunt, Jersey, Jimmy Buffet, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Jonas Brothers, K, Kanye West, Keating, Kelly Clarkson, Keyisha Cole, Kids of Crush High, The Killers, L, La Dispute, Less Than Jake, Lifetime, The Like, Lincoln Park, Love Equals Death, M, Martina McBride, Madonna, Meg & Dia, Matchbox Romance, The Matches, Maxeen, The Mile After, Motion City Soundtrack, Moneen, My Chemical Romance, N, Natasha Bedingfield, Ne-Yo, Nightmare Of You, NOFX, O, October Fall, Organized Noize, P, Paint By Numbers, Panic! At The Disco, Paramore, Perfuma, Persephone's Bee's, The Pillows, The Pink Spiders, The Plain White T's, Protest the Hero, Punchline, Q, Queen, R, Ray-J, Rascall Flatts, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Relient K, Rihanna, Rise Against, The Rocket Summer, Roses Are Red, Ryan Cabrera, S, Saves The Day, Say Anything, Say Hi To Your Mom, Senses Fail, Shakira, Shania Twain, Simple Plan, The Skies Revolt, The Sleeping, Slightly Stoopid, Small Town Heroes, Sparta, The Spill Canvas, So They Say, Someday Never, The Sunstreak, T, Taking Back Sunday, This Day In Age, Thursday, U, Underoath, V, Valient Thorr, Vanna, VCR, W, We Are the Fury, X, Ex Oh [ close enough ], Y, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Yellowcard, Z, Zox, i collect it, i listen to it, i make it. i pwns me., plain and simple.